Hello
everyone! It's FRIDAY!!! That means some well earned days
off...some time to pamper myself is much needed for this mommy to be.
Friday also means its blog day, wooooo! I know you all must have been
dying of anticipation, I know
I was! I want to share an experience today that every couple goes
through, as it's been on my mind a lot and I feel the need to focus
on how far we've come!
Do
you all remember the days when you were planning your wedding down to
the last napkin fold? Were you
told at some point by someone that marriage is harder than you
realize? Hubby and I were warned, and if you're anything like me, you
nodded in agreement, but directed your attention back to which color
of invitations to choose. Things were great and the vows you were
planning to exchange with the love of your life needed writing and
rehearsing. You're happy, that's why you're getting married, right?
Next
is (usually) the honeymoon, which you spend in wedded bliss for a few
weeks. Then it happens: you become...married.
The way he snored so cutely before is now making you want to pull
your hair out after the day you had at work. The way you cook lasagna
is not the way his mother made it. Or, maybe something happens. A job
loss, an unexpected expense, stress, a new bad habit, an event beyond
your control. Anything, really, can rock the boat in a marriage, and
it's different for every couple. Although, for most newlyweds (like
Hubby and myself) this usually leads to fighting and a strained
relationship.
When
Hubby and I have our spats (especially the big blowout ones) it
leaves us both sad, exhausted, and too drained to be our best selves. We did
try
to do things right. We went to premarital counseling through a
coworker of Hubby's who was licensed and offered it for free. It was
a great experience, but we didn't face all of our problems, due to
our own lack of dedication. We also stopped going after the wedding.
Mainly because something
happened
within a week of returning home from our honeymoon. An event out of
our control that rocked our marriage. We got too preoccupied with the
problems, and stopped focusing on the best solution. We were stuck on
who’s fault it was and how angry or hurt we were.
It's
been almost a year, and I would love to tell you that we've figured it all
out. That we found out how to stop focusing on the bad in our lives. However, that would be a
lie. I sometimes feel like things have gotten harder in some ways,
especially with a little baby on the way! However,
I'm pleased to tell you that we've come a very, very
long
way. We're learning constantly about trust, communication, honesty and of
course LOVE.
We
have (almost) learned to eliminate the yelling, because when we
yell at each other, nobody is really getting heard. Most importantly we found that the best way to tackle our problems is to do it
together. Splitting up to try and tackle the same problem in a
marriage is like trying to catch the same fish with two separate
poles.
I
know that the fights won't ever stop completely, but our goal is to
be able to do it in a way that will produce positive results and
build a stronger marriage, not take our energy and break down the
love we have for one another. No matter what happens, those vows mean
something. For better AND
for
worse, the good times and the bad....'til death do us part! ♥♥♥
