For Better and for WORSE!

Hello everyone! It's FRIDAY!!! That means some well earned days off...some time to pamper myself is much needed for this mommy to be. Friday also means its blog day, wooooo! I know you all must have been dying of anticipation, I know I was! I want to share an experience today that every couple goes through, as it's been on my mind a lot and I feel the need to focus on how far we've come!

Do you all remember the days when you were planning your wedding down to the last napkin fold? Were you told at some point by someone that marriage is harder than you realize? Hubby and I were warned, and if you're anything like me, you nodded in agreement, but directed your attention back to which color of invitations to choose. Things were great and the vows you were planning to exchange with the love of your life needed writing and rehearsing. You're happy, that's why you're getting married, right?

Next is (usually) the honeymoon, which you spend in wedded bliss for a few weeks. Then it happens: you become...married. The way he snored so cutely before is now making you want to pull your hair out after the day you had at work. The way you cook lasagna is not the way his mother made it. Or, maybe something happens. A job loss, an unexpected expense, stress, a new bad habit, an event beyond your control. Anything, really, can rock the boat in a marriage, and it's different for every couple. Although, for most newlyweds (like Hubby and myself) this usually leads to fighting and a strained relationship.

When Hubby and I have our spats (especially the big blowout ones) it leaves us both sad, exhausted, and too drained to be our best selves. We did try to do things right. We went to premarital counseling through a coworker of Hubby's who was licensed and offered it for free. It was a great experience, but we didn't face all of our problems, due to our own lack of dedication. We also stopped going after the wedding. Mainly because something happened within a week of returning home from our honeymoon. An event out of our control that rocked our marriage. We got too preoccupied with the problems, and stopped focusing on the best solution. We were stuck on who’s fault it was and how angry or hurt we were.

It's been almost a year, and I would love to tell you that we've figured it all out. That we found out how to stop focusing on the bad in our lives. However, that would be a lie. I sometimes feel like things have gotten harder in some ways, especially with a little baby on the way! However, I'm pleased to tell you that we've come a very, very long way. We're learning constantly about trust, communication, honesty and of course LOVE. We have (almost) learned to eliminate the yelling, because when we yell at each other, nobody is really getting heard. Most importantly we found that the best way to tackle our problems is to do it together. Splitting up to try and tackle the same problem in a marriage is like trying to catch the same fish with two separate poles.

I know that the fights won't ever stop completely, but our goal is to be able to do it in a way that will produce positive results and build a stronger marriage, not take our energy and break down the love we have for one another. No matter what happens, those vows mean something. For better AND for worse, the good times and the bad....'til death do us part! ♥♥♥